Cruise to Canada

Day 1: Arrive at LAS at 10 45 am for a 12 20 pm direct Delta flight, first class tickets to JFK to be told, sorry, your flight leaves in 10 minutes. Delta claims to have tried to call me back in May, but I never got the message. I was told the only available flight was at 11 35 PM that night, coach. Is it my responsibility to check in 24 hours before, of course it is. Who does that ? really ?

As I pout and scream into my cell phone while my beautiful children patiently wait, my sister in NYC called in on her SkyMiles account and had me transferred to a Continental flight at 2 20 PM, coach. Was I so stuck on those first class seats that I would rather take an 11 45 PM red eye with two toddlers ?! Definitely NOT. I took the coach seats (3rd to last row UGH).

Jeff came to my rescue by returning to the airport with the pacifiers I forgot and a pillow, which I decided I wanted too. We had lunch together. Later, he saw us off into security, where, since we just got the tickets an hour earlier, were punished with a FULL security check. The ID-checker at the start of security muttered, “oh man, why are they picking on you ?” L

Sidenote: What is the air blowing thing in security for anyway ?

I don’t remember much after that, but I do remember Caroline refusing to sit still the entire time. The kids never really found ONE thing that held their interest for longer than 5 minutes, but no real fits and no poopy diapers on-deck.

10 PM or so, we land in Newark and head toward baggage claim. My NY sister had called ahead for a car to pick us up and to assist with the 3 bags, 3 carry-ons (DVD player, purse/diaper bag and children’s toys in a backpack), a stroller and a booster seat for Caroline. Well, for reasons never explained, the carousel didn’t even start moving for over an hour. The $75 car ride became a $150 car ride. UGH.

I was not happy and wasn’t shy about expressing it. I was so angry and took it out on my sister but as soon I got upstairs and sat down in the air conditioning, I felt better. Around midnight, we tried to go to sleep but Caroline was bouncing off the walls, literally and figuratively. We were up until 3 00 am Eastern.

Day 2: after a few false-starts, we had lunch and took off in two cabs to the port. Unfortunately, Cuan was told he could not travel because he didn’t have a travel Visa, despite being told by the embassy he did not need anything more than what he had. He grabbed his laptop and waved goodbye to us through the customs partition.

I checked the kids and me in, but was told that Carnival employees are forbidden to touch my luggage and therefore were unable to assist me, the bags, the carry-ons, the stroller, the booster and the two kids. After seeing me nearly losing it in the lobby, one of the employees apparently risked being deported to assist me as far as the elevator. Even this little bit was extremely appreciated, especially trying to navigate through all the lollygaggers and people waiting in line for liquor and food. This, I would later learn, would be the entire cruise, epitomized.

I was not in my cabin but 2 minutes when there was a knock on the door. I half expected them to tell me I was in the wrong room but it was my grandmother and her husband to greet us. I was not in a cheerful mood but I wanted her to be able to say hi.

Kisses and hugs hello were about all I could stay patient for and excused them from my cabin so I could decompress. The kids would have none of it. They were jumping from the window onto the bed and touching every item they could reach.

Another knock. It was my mom. The kids were so happy to see Gramma, but not as much as I. I was able to close the bathroom door and just sit still with my eyes closed.

My mom whisked us out of the cabin to watch the Big Apple float by. As we walked into the observation lounge, the Statue of Liberty came into view. She was so lovely and I took the moment to imagine all the millions who have sailed past her and wondered if they had baggage assistance.

After much debate, we decided that an 8 00 PM dinner sitting was way too late for my kids. My schedule is breakfast at 9, lunch at 12, dinner at 6. This doesn’t vary much and neither do their sleeping schedules. Cousins and siblings didn’t really want that so, we ate with the grandparents and my newlywed cousin and his wife but not my sisters and younger cousins.

The Food: I don’t want to go on forever about the food. It sucked, We had hamburgers every day for lunch and at least 4 of my dinners were sent back or uneaten. No, it wasn’t me, I wasn’t the only one.

It was catering-line food, at best. I have had better food at Morrison’s. Dishes were cold, dried out and/or tasteless. The service on the other hand, was wonderful. So, there is that.

Every one of the employees was SO nice, courteous and considerate. The waitress remembered my drink order, night to night and even brought the kids cherries on the 2nd night, knowing they would like them. I told our waiter, Tony, every night I was taking him home with me.

I think he was a little scared I wasn’t joking.

Day 3: Fun Day at Sea #1: If freezing cold pool temperatures, fog and high winds are your idea of a “fun day”, you would have LOVED this cruise.

Highlight - Daniel played putt putt golf and got a hole in one.

Formal Dinner was fun. It was nice to curl my hair, put on make up, a slinky black dress and heels. Too bad it was covered in kid-slime an hour in, carrying a clunky diaper bag and a stinky toddler. My filet mignon tasted of tire.

Oh, did I mention the “treating it like Mexico” travesty ? At the insistence of one Jason Garfield, I was to not have any water or ice. This was so much trouble but I was so committed and never had a drop. Unless you count brushing teeth and spitting out water in the shower, which I do not, for story-telling purposes.

Day 4. Excursion #1. St. John, New Brunswick: I had to look at the pics to remember it. We took a non-air conditioned trolley-style bus that was seemingly sponsored by Irving Industries, as most of the houses and history was Irving-based.

Reverse Falls, Victorian Homes, market square, lobster rolls and Mooses.

Day 5: Halifax, Nova Scotia and Peggy’s Cove: Gorgeous, lovely weather, nice people, pretty architecture, interesting history and the most beautiful fort I have ever seen.

Day 6: Fun Day at Sea #2: 1/16th of a mile visibility fog, cold wind and rain. Another hamburger for lunch and a solid toddler nap in the cabin.

We had an afternoon gathering in a lounge for Grum’s birthday celebration. Everyone was caught off-guard on having to make a speech, but somehow how everyone pulled it off just enough.

My joke of the day; when mom said, “thanks for your genes,” I couldn’t resist adding, “and your blouses,”.

I am such a dork.

Warning: the next 7 paragraphs are gross, skip ahead if you cant handle it.

This may be the only day I ate too much… dinner was prime rib, which is a favorite and after many days of marginal food, I was ready for a good steak. I ate it way too fast and too much. As soon as I was in bed later that evening, I knew I was in trouble.

My sides were aching which is how it starts. I tried to drink some Sprite to get the food down and out of my esophagus, but it only prolonged the inevitable.

Being that this was my last night and was traveling all day the next day, I knew I had to get some sleep. I tried to take 2 Advil with a drop of water that I had left but it made me gag and I threw up all over the carpet.

After cleaning up puke and getting Caroline to finally stop jumping all over her sleeping brother and go to sleep herself, I drifted into a light sleep.

Somewhere around 3 am I woke back up and was feeling miserable. My sides ached and my stomach was bloated. I had only done it to myself and I was full of regret. I knew what I had to do.

I camped myself in the bathroom, on my knees, and brushed my teeth. I knew if I brushed my tongue vigorously I could gag myself enough to finish the job I started earlier.

It worked. Within 30 minutes, I was asleep again and woke up without any further pain. When will I ever learn that I cannot eat that much meat in one sitting ? ugh

Day 7, Back in NYC: We had the option of baggage assist, which meant being completely packed and bags outside our door by 11 PM. I had the kids asleep, was feeling ill and just wanting to get off the ship ASAP thought self-assist would be the way to go. I would have to be off the ship by 8 am and that was just too early. Besides, I was so whiny about not getting help with my bags on the way in, how could I opt for self-assist now ?

So, I waited for my deck and section to be called. Of COURSE, it was the last of everyone. After about an hour, my mom called me into the lounge to wait with her and of COURSE she was called off the ship just as we hooked up.

Once off the ship, a very nice baggage handler was nice enough to help me even though I told him I had nothing to tip with. How cool is that ? He brought us up to the front of the taxi line and went BACK to get the tickets required to actually be assigned a cab. I was able to give him two dollars that I scrounged up from my purse and that felt good. But then I had the thought that he may have thought I was scamming and really had money after all but then felt guilty and gave him some anyway but was really cheap about it at only 2. I need a new brain, this one is starting to hurt.

As Amanda, the kids and I waited for our taxi number to be called, we would be solicited for town cars. The first one wanted $60, the second wanted $50 but I talked him down to $40 plus B&T. Deal.

Amanda’s apartment never felt so good. I found out she has a zero tolerance policy on snoring and black out blinds are heaven-sent. I listened to episode 1, part 2 of my podcast with Jason and put on I, SPY for D. Once Cuan got off of work, we met us for sushi and before we knew it, it was time to go.

Our cab ride was an hour and a half to JFK due to traffic but thankfully, Amanda had suggested flat-rate over metered and that long made up for the doubling of the car ride into the city. “Thanks, Zip!”

Checking in for the flight and going through security were a breeze. We bought a new kid’s movie for the DVD player and some Nutter Butters to snack on and checked into some chairs at the gate. Our flight was scheduled for 5 40 PM with a 10 minute delay and scheduled to arrive at 9 45 PM local Vegas time.

Restless but in good spirits, the kids sat with me, watching the planes and tossing Flounder back and forth. As 5 30 rolled around with the plane at the gate before our arriving plane still not pushed back, I started to get tense. They hadn’t officially delayed our flight yet, but it was inevitable.

We had a strange, wide-eyed attendant at the desk, bouncing around the area, running in and out of the gangway making it even more annoying. At 5 45 we were officially delayed to 6 50.

Once we finally boarded, turned out, we were 30th in line for take off, sitting on the tarmac until well after 7 15. The kids were so antsy and whiny. They were hungry and when I went to change what I thought was only a pee-pee diaper… well, suffice it to say, I switched them out VERY fast and tucked it away in a purse compartment until I could get to the bathroom. I am hoping it was thought of nothing more than a passing fart, to the other passengers.

I ignored the fasten seatbelt sign and got up to insist the attendants give the kids something to snack on. We would have had dinner hours earlier, had we known, and I had timed it just so. Thankfully, they had oatmeal bars and wheat crackers with cheese. Water was already provided. This bought me some time. Once in the air, cleaned up Caroline 100% and got the kids going with some in-flight entertainment and later, dinner.

Can I just say, the Galaga rip-off on the plane was too easy. I had level 88 in less than 30 minutes, 12 men left and a score of over 725,000 before quitting out of boredom. They need to increase the difficulty or something, it became monotonous.

So, the rest is history, we landed, Jeff came to pick us up and we were home by midnight. The kids had a second wind when we got home, saw D’s awesome new space ship room and playing with the dogs.

After a while, we went to bed, one by one. Nothing like sleeping in your own bed, eh ?